Kill Pill

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* MSCHF DROP #51 *

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The pill that kills!

Specifically designed for the modern world.
If you finish this bottle and are still alive, congratulations! You have successfully triumphed over death.

Life duration relief

60 Capsules
1200 mg of the sweet release of death
100% Sugar

Manifesto

Contents:

Purpose:

Kill Pill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Slow but inexorable progress towards death

Directions:

Take one daily or as needed. Consult your doctor before use, if you want your doctor to be very concerned.

WARNING: Do not consume Kill Pill if you are diabetic or otherwise sensitive to sugar.

WARNING: Placebos work, even when you know they are placebos, as per a Harvard Medical School study.

WARNING: All medications and supplements that claim efficacy for life extension are impossible to evaluate. You cannot know when you would have “ordinarily” died, and therefore you will never know if your telomere-repair or NAD+ booster worked. On the other hand, we don’t need Kill Pill to do anything: you’re actively dying at every moment anyway.

WARNING: The drugs that make you as happy as the people you see in pharmaceutical ads are illegal.

Other Information:

Kill Pill is a sugar pill. Sugar really IS bad for you, though the American sugar industry has successfully conditioned the whole country to blame oil & fat instead.

Disclaimer:

If you finish this bottle and you’re still alive, congratulations you’ve successfully triumphed over death.

FAQ

Will this really kill me?

We’re all dying because of everything that happens to us. That said, Kill Pill is extremely unlikely to be your most proximate cause of death.

What’s the pill made of?

Kill Pill is a gelatin capsule containing 20mg of sucrose. Remember: sugar is bad for you, and placebos work even if you know they are placebos.

Do I need a prescription?

No. If you have ever in your life reacted to a situation by muttering “oh my god, just kill me now,” under your breath, Kill Pill is for you.

Kill Pill is MSCHF Drop #51

Every drop is different, and we never do the same thing twice. Download the MSCHF app to hear about future drops.