Kill Pill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Slow but inexorable progress towards death
Take one daily or as needed. Consult your doctor before use, if you
want your doctor to be very concerned.
WARNING: Do not consume Kill Pill if you are diabetic or
otherwise sensitive to sugar.
WARNING: Placebos work, even when you know they are
placebos, as per a Harvard Medical School study.
WARNING: All medications and supplements that claim
efficacy for life extension are impossible to evaluate. You cannot
know when you would have “ordinarily” died, and therefore you will
never know if your telomere-repair or NAD+ booster worked. On the
other hand, we don’t need Kill Pill to do anything: you’re
actively dying at every moment anyway.
WARNING: The drugs that make you as happy as the people you
see in pharmaceutical ads are illegal.
Kill Pill is a sugar pill. Sugar really IS bad for you, though the
American sugar industry has successfully conditioned the whole country
to blame oil & fat instead.
If you finish this bottle and you’re still alive, congratulations
you’ve successfully triumphed over death.